Rainy Hellos.

Hello again.

It's been more than a few months of hiatus once again. I keep telling myself to keep up with my posts so I can reflect on them in the future and for whoever still reads this.

Here are some things that have happened:

April 15, 2011 - April 22, 2011: Alternative Spring Break Outreach in New Orleans, LA.
May 25, 2011: Graduation
May 26, 2011: Officially moved in to a house off campus
June 2011: "In transition" Graduate Assistant
June 7, 2011: My 22nd birthday
July 2011: Awaiting a response from the MA TESOL program at Stony Brook University.

I'm sure there's so much more to write about, but I haven't been thinking about it much lately.

I think I'll try writing once again.

It's been raining.

Sleepless Hunger.

I'm in the third week of my last semester of my undergraduate years.

As I've mentioned to my friends, the line "it was all good just a week ago" seems to be a reoccurring theme. Although I must say, the bad decisions make good stories.

In other news, believe I have once again ruined my sleep cycle.

The weird thing is that, even though I go out on Thursdays and Fridays, I wake up relatively early for a night out. You would think I'd climb out of bed at four or five, but I've managed to wake up at times from noon to three. I suppose I just made the cut off.

Days when I have class are even worse. I go to bed at around four or five and wake up for class or work around nine in the morning. I don't think the iced coffees from Starbucks are helping me fall asleep at night, but they're definitely giving me the energy I need to stay awake.

I have so much energy right now that I don't know what to do with it.

I think I'll just type whatever comes to mind.

I've been a bundle of emotions lately. I think I may be worse than a hormonal pregnant woman. I think I'll be better this week.

Anyway, I just finished watching the movie Julie & Julia, which is based on the true story of the life of the cook Julia Child and a blogger Julie Powell. I was curious enough to find her blog, which is still up: http://blogs.salon.com/0001399/

Bon Appetite!

After watching the movie, which I never found a reason to watch, I am quite hungry. My stomach growled at the sight of the delicious recipes in the movie. It was quite upsetting. However, this "feel good" movie makes me want to do better in life. Am I weird for thinking that?

The life I wish to share is quite boring at the moment.

Night Terrors.

Throughout Winter Break I've had a few strange dreams here and there.

It's been a week into the Spring Semester and for a few days in a row now, I've been having weird dreams that lead into nightmares.

The bad dreams aren't the type where you wake up in a cold sweat. It's more of a "what the fuck" type feeling, where you open your eyes and just think to yourself, "Did I really just dream that?"

Sometimes, I get the chills when I manage to piece together what happened in these story lines that occur during my sleep. In the end, I manage to forget most of my dreams, even if I took the time to replay them in my mind. I just remember the feeling that I get... the uneasiness.

For the past two nights, I haven't had any bad dreams.

I believe the reason behind this is due to my consumption of alcohol throughout the night and the odd hours I've put into my sleep cycle. I think I'm just so worn out that my body needs to recover, thus preventing my mind from doing anymore work such as creating a confusing mess of my fears and anxieties, depicted through my dreams.

It makes me wonder what I'm so scared of. It makes me wonder what's going on inside my head.

Sad, isn't it?

Something Else Can Possibly Go Wrong.

The title is pretty self-explanatory.

Something else went wrong.

I thought I was okay, but I guess I'm not. I developed a sick feeling in my stomach that won't go away (no, I do not need to go number two).

I think everything I've done or felt in the past that I've kept bottled up is starting to overflow.

I can't concentrate and all I want to do is sleep. These may be the signs of depression.

I've felt tired like this before, but I never had this knot feeling.

We'll see how things go.

Clichés.

I've managed to make a mess of things in my last year of college.

Isn't that supposed to be some sort of cliché for high school?

Some things have blown over and some things are still raw.

Mmm time for self-reinvention... again.

Looking at things in another way, what else could possibly go wrong at this point? I'm already used to everything that has happened and I already have people who like me for who I am.

I kind of want to go out and make bad decisions.

Boys, booze, and cigs... a recipe for disaster.

Maybe I'll think about it before I actually do anything. Hmm...